LG’s Optimus Prime Pad Will Murder You

LG made a tablet. Did you know that? I bet not. You’re too busy drooling over the iPad. Because you’re evil. That is, unless you’re a mindless drone. In which case, you’re evil and stupid. But don’t worry. The Optimus Pad is here to save the day! Or kill stuff. That, too.

The piece begins with fake movie logo titles that appear to be ripped straight out of iMovie’s horrible logo templates. The video also claims to be made by “Michael Boy”. Clearly this Michael is not a very good copycat, as this video doesn’t have nearly enough lens flares.

Throughout the video, we see Optimus Prime throw Megatron through a plate glass window bearing an Apple logo, fire a shell into his chest that blows him into a million pieces, before finally holding an Apple menacingly, then crushing it into the camera’s face as his eyes change from the soft benevolent blue to an evil red. Autistic Disdain reached out to Optimus Prime for comment on this bizarre shift from his tough, yet compassionate stance he’s held throughout the television shows and movies he’s been in. He had to say this on the matter:

“Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. Unless they issue a firmware update that changes the function of my orientation lock switch. Then they’re just asking to get f!*@ed in the @%# with my giant metal !#%&.”

The Optimus Pad, and likely any accompanying ads, will be debuting at the Mobile World Conference beginning on Monday of next week, where Optimus Prime is expected to murder Steve Jobs on stage in front of thousands of onlookers.

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Posted on February 11, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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