Category Archives: Mobile

Unbelievable: AT&T Buys A Smaller Carrier, Gets Bigger

In a move that is nothing short of unprecedented, unbelievable, and shocking, a large wireless carrier is purchasing a smaller wireless carrier. Said Gandalf the Grey on the issue: “Something is about to happen that has not happened in an age.” Whispers and legends have been told of such mergers of the gods, but none have ever been seen by the likes of man.

We talked to a Verizon CEO who had this to say:

“We’ve just never seen something like this happen before. It changes everything, really. We need to discuss it with the board of directors, but we may simply close up shop and let all of our customers know they should just head to AT&T. Unless we can find a strategy to fight this, we won’t have much choice. And, though I hate to be premature, I don’t think we will.”

AllTel, who was also on the phone, seconded Verizon’s feelings on the matter.

Meanwhile, Sprint was a little more optimistic:

We’re excited about the possibilities of this upcoming acquisition. Up until this point, we were able to tell our customers that, while we may not be as big as Verizon or AT&T, we’re still the third best and head and shoulders above T-Mobile, the only other national carrier worth mentioning. Now we don’t have that. We are the bottom rung. We’re excited to see how this is going to light a fire under our feet. We look forward to pushing forward with all the forward momentum we can move forward.

Nextel merely stood in the corner and shook its head.

One thing is clear, though. This move will change the industry forever. In what is surely a never-before-experienced-phenomenon, AT&T will become the largest telecom in a particular field. The implications of this alone are so far reaching that the U.S. market may never be the same. Said one Cingular AT&T executive on the subject:

It’s a little overwhelming, going from being the underdog to being the top of your field. It’s like “Whoa, just last year, no one listened to anything I say, and now everyone wants to know what we’re gonna do next. We’re the center of attention, and not only that, for the first time we actually have money to do all the cool and exciting things that you don’t get to do when you’re building cell phone towers in your garage. It’s a really exciting time and I’m looking forward to seeing what we can do.

For our parts, we at AD were surprised when the executive used the words “like” and “whoa”, though we probably shouldn’t be. It seems to be a trend of all the hip, up-and-coming, boy-wonder CEOs to continue to speak in the layman, even in official statements.

And, of course, the question on everyone’s mind is how will this affect the iPhone. Will future versions of the iPhone be available to what are currently T-Mobile customers? We reached out to Steve Jobs for comment. He punched us in the stomach and charged us $300 for the privilege. We happily paid, as it was the most intuitive, user-friendly beating we’d ever received.

HTC Thunderbolt Released Just In Time To Be Several Months Too Late

The HTC Thunderbolt is a pretty phone. Very pretty. It’s got a gorgeous 4.3 inch screen, a front-facing camera, 4G data, even a kickstand. A kickstand! Clearly this phone is trying to make a statement! And what statement is that?

“I wish I was an Evo.”

To continue Verizon’s parade of getting other carriers’ phones, they’ve now added the HTC Evo Thunderbolt to their lineup, giving it a modest spec boost and a generous launch delay. Nine months after the release of the Evo, and five days before we’re expected to hear about the Evo’s successor.

This phone has actually been leaking since August of last year. So long ago that, when HTC began (intentionally?) leaking shots of the device in December, Gizmodo didn’t even realize they covered it already. And really, who can blame them?

In any case, if you’re interested in getting the finest device that the Summer of 2010 has to offer, look no further than the HTC Thunderbolt.

T-Mobile, Sprint May Merge To Become Super, Ultra, Third Wheel

There’s a little over 300 million people in the United States, and roughly 200 million of them are either subscribed to AT&T or Verizon. That leaves the remaining third of the country as scraps for Sprint, T-Mobile, MetroPCS, and all of the other wireless carriers in the country to munch on under the table. Sprint and T-Mo make up the Abed and Troy of the big four: important enough to get their own storylines, but they’re still not the stars of this show.

However, even the Joey of this carrier drama might be able to get its own spinoff if rumors are to be believed. While it’s not clear yet whether T-Mobile USA will be moving to Hollywood, or just buying up spectrum from Central Perk*, but whatever the case, both companies are looking at various ideas for a joint venture.

The news is exciting to say the least. As exciting as when the Power Rangers teamed up with the Ninja Turtles. Or when Leonard and Penny got together for a while. Which is to say that it has the potential to get our hopes up before ultimately bringing them crashing down in a fiery plane wreck into a children’s hospital.

Or it could be cool. I mean, who knows.

 

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*- I’m bad at analogies.

T-Mobile Would Like To Remind You Of Its Great Big 4G Network

It can be tough being the little guy. Of the four major carriers, T-Mo is the littlest. But don’t let their rank fool you. In real life, T-Mobile is very big. Super big, you might say. Or at least, big enough. Certainly big enough to satisfy your 4G data needs.

Ok, fine, we’ll admit it. T-Mobile may not have the size or girth of some other networks, it’s true. But, is the size of the network really what’s important? T-Mobile believes it’s more important how you use that network. And T-Mobile knows exactly how to use their network so your phone walks away pleased after a long night of savage data-munching.

Also, please don’t confuse the speedy rabbit symbolism on their charts. Sure, rabbits are fast, but they’re also full of stamina. T-Mobile’s 4G network won’t get tired or pass out on you after the first three minutes of a heavy YouTube streaming session. T-Mobile’s network is way more virile than that. Go ahead and plan for an all-night-long Netflix tethering session. T-Mobile can handle it all.

Anyways, T-Mobile has a big penis.

Via: Engadget

Samsung Is In Talks With XDA About…Something

It doesn’t mean much of anything right now, but if you’ve ever rooted your phone, chances are you’ve been to XDA. And even if you haven’t, you still have reasons to pay attention to the things those folks develop. And now you have one more. A user going by the name of SamsungJohn, who sources say does, in fact, work for Samsung, has been dropping hints that the owners of XDA and Samsung have been in talks recently.

About what is anyone’s guess at this point. It wouldn’t be the first time a major corporation worked with the community. And any time the major players in the market get along with the major players in the developer community, it’s good for everyone.

We hear that there’s an announcement coming “soon” from the heads of XDA. When that happens, rest assured Autistic Disdain will be right there, ready and willing to make fun of the new deal/partnership/project/grudge match/showdown/LAN party/date night as it develops.

Hey, maybe Samsung will even ask XDA for advice on getting Froyo to their U.S. handsets while they’re at it.

I Will Not Make A Yo Dawg Joke About Android Virtualization

I know you’re expecting it. Heck, I’m expecting it. How can you not? But, no. I refuse. I’m sorry, Xzibit. I’m not even going to Photoshop your face on top of the picture. Not even as a subtle hint to the joke.

Sure, it’s the perfect set up. This is an LG phone. It runs Android. It also runs a VMware app. That runs Android. And, to be fair, I did hear that you like Android.

But no. I’m not doing it. I can’t. I won’t. I will not, would not, shall not make a Yo Dawg joke. About Android. In yo’ Android.

Dammit.

Kyocera Glues Two Phones Together, Because You Schmucks Will Buy Anything, Right?

Sprint announced last month they’d be holding an event for this month. An event featuring David Blaine and “another industry first”. This event was to be held right in between the Consumer Electronics Show in January and the Mobile World Conference in February. Surely such an event, and even such a special guest, must necessarily imply that neither of the two audiences were worthy of this device. No, good sirs! This device requires its own stage!

Well, to be fair, that is true. I mean, look at the size of that thing*.

Yet the big reveal actually turns out to be a URAT dual-screen phone. Which apparently needs to exist. I mean, why not? Can you think of a reason why a phone wouldn’t need two separate screens? Shut up. You can’t tell Kyocera what to do.

And if you just asked yourself “Wait, I know Motorola, HTC, Samsung, LG, and even Dell, but….who’s Kyocera?” Well….do you remember that printer you threw out last month? The one whose ink cartridges broke, got  too many paper jams, and spewed blood while screeching satanic chants? The one that actually made you miss HP? Yeah, Kyocera made that.

But hey, at least this phone is running Android 2.3, the most recent version of the Android OS. Which is better than some other phones will ever see.

*– That’s what she said.

Record Number Of People Don’t Know When To Buy An iPhone

On February 4th at 4am, the Verizon iPhone 4 missed its opportunity to do one of those annoying triple-number advertising gimmicks, completely ignoring the obvious “4 on 4 at 4” slogan. Instead, pre-orders for the Verizon iPhone 4 began on February 3rd at 3am. They then closed pre-orders at 5am, intentionally denying the number 4 any chance for an amusing coincidence.

The number that did get some attention? “A lot.” That’s how many iPhone 4 pre-orders were sold in the two twilight (no relation) hours that pre-orders were available. In fact, the pre-orders were sold out. That is, every single possible pre-order available, for a phone that has been out for seven months, will be refreshed in another five, yet cannot be upgraded for another two years once purchased sold out.

If you’re unfamiliar with the upgrade cycle of iPhones, it’s once every year. Like Christmas in June. Literally. Every June, an allegedly jolly old man with a white beard comes out and gives presents to a select group of good people, while everyone else gets the HTC Coal running Android. It’s as dependable and predictable as Santa. But apparently not quite as well known, since a record number of people-more than Verizon has seen for any launch day ever-decided that five months is too long to wait to get the next version of the phone that will likely have better hardware, better software, and better pixie dust than the iPhone 4.

On the upside, that’s five months that they’ll be able to make phone calls with an iPhone.

HTC Releases The New HTC Thunderbolt

Samsung Set To Enter Highly Volatile MP3 Player Market

As everyone who’s left their house in the last decade is no doubt aware, the market for personal MP3-playing devices is totally, 100% up in the air. There are no clear winners yet. Despite overwhelming demand for an easy-to-use, versatile, robust media playing device, no such device exists. At least, not to Samsung’s knowledge. Which is why they’ve cleverly decided to take the Android platform and make a handheld, non-phone device. This is brilliant! You can do stuff with it! Like apps! And I’m pretty sure it plays music. I think Android has a built-in music player, right?

This should serve as a warning sign to all of the other device manufacturers out there to get it in gear. Pun intended*. In the near-decade since Napster made people aware that all music is free forever, there has not been a single device, gadget, or pod that has come along to fill the hole that Samsung is about to fill. Frankly, they could take the market if someone else doesn’t step up.

Of course, Samsung would have a much harder time of it if a.) Android weren’t known primarily, if not solely for their robust multimedia applications, 2.) there were another device on the market that was already synonymous with personal multimedia playback, and d.) this device didn’t have that gorgeous AMOLED screen that’s become the Galaxy series’ trademark.

What’s that? It has a Super Clear LCD screen instead? Ah. Well. Two out of three ain’t bad, right?

Right?

……..Right?

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*- I’m so….so sorry.