Nvidia makes some pretty sweet processors. One is even named after Superman! They’re cool. Sometimes those chips end up in Android tablets. On much rarer occasions, they end up in Apple tablets. Those occasions are so rare, in fact, that I made that up. It never happens. But it would sure make Nvidia CEO Jen-Hsun Huang’s prediction that Android tablets will overtake iPad shipments in about two and a half years a little less self-promoting, wouldn’t it?
Ahhhh, but come on! Let’s give the guy a break. He’s probably right! Right? Right. See, it’s what happened in the smartphone market. As you know, smartphones are generally sold on contracts, with heavy subsidies, and are replaced about as frequently as contracts are renewed in a lot of cases. Whereas tablets are….umm….well. Well, you use money to buy them! That’s one similarity.
Still. The fact that the Android platform is on a wide variety of devices from various manufacturers is likely going to be one huge advantage that Android has over the iPad. The wide variety of form factors has helped the Android market boom. And just take a look at two of the leading Android tablets right now: the Motorola Xoom and the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 (both running Nvidia chips, naturally). And they offer a wide variety of hardware options: one of them is a large, roughly 10″ slab with a touchscreen and some ports while the other is…umm…..err. That is….
Well, look. The point is that Android won the numbers game in the smartphone space, and it will probably take only just as long for them to win in the tablet space. Probably. I guess.
Or maybe the technology industry is vast and complex, the tablet market hasn’t even really been defined yet, and there’s still plenty of room for experimentation, innovation, and discovery before anything is settled and life is less straightforward than projections on a chart. I guess.
It’s more fun this way, though, right?
The HTC Thunderbolt is a pretty phone. Very pretty. It’s got a gorgeous 4.3 inch screen, a front-facing camera, 4G data, even a kickstand. A kickstand! Clearly this phone is trying to make a statement! And what statement is that?
“I wish I was an Evo.”
To continue Verizon’s parade of getting other carriers’ phones, they’ve now added the HTC
Evo Thunderbolt to their lineup, giving it a modest spec boost and a generous launch delay. Nine months after the release of the Evo, and five days before we’re expected to hear about the Evo’s successor.
This phone has actually been leaking since August of last year. So long ago that, when HTC began (intentionally?) leaking shots of the device in December, Gizmodo didn’t even realize they covered it already. And really, who can blame them?
In any case, if you’re interested in getting the finest device that the Summer of 2010 has to offer, look no further than the HTC Thunderbolt.
I know what you’re thinking. We’ve seen our little friend Andy on everything from mini figurines to pillows, from t-shirts to knitted device cases, but I’m still naked and have no Android-related garments I can use to insulate my outer clothing from some of the more unsanitary of my external organs!
OK, three things: one: you are seriously over thinking the function of underwear. Two: gross. Three: your wait for open-source smartphone operating system themed underwear is at an end!
The panties are currently available in women’s only. Men’s panties will be available once men start wearing panties. That is, men that aren’t Tim Curry or that crazy guy from Silence of the Lambs. Boxers are still up in the air.
So, Android fanboys that have girlfriends who are willing to indulge your geeky whims, get out your credit cards and order a Princess Leia bikini. But after that head over to androidpanties.com and get your girls a pair. And Android fangirls that are willing to wear Android panties without provocation: call me.
In case you were counting, in the U.S. market, there are currently more Android handsets in users hands than iPhones. What can that tell us about the U.S. population? According to Frank Meehan, CEO of INQ, an Android handset manufacturer, we can determine that there’s more geeks than pretty people in the U.S. Because only geeks use Android. And none of them are pretty. And also none go to clubs:
“If you go to a nightclub in any city in the world, the pretty girl has an iPhone or a BlackBerry. She doesn’t have an Android phone. She has no emotional attachment to an Android phone. It’s too complicated. It’s a geek device, it’s all wrong.”
So, remember girls. If you want to be pretty and not a geek, get the plastic black phone with a huge clunky keyboard. confusing symbols, and a low-res, grainy touchscreen, instead of the shiny black device with a smooth touchscreen keyboard on a large, crystal clear screen. Unless that shiny black device with a smooth touchscreen keyboard on a large, crystal clear screen looks positively delicious. In that case, by all means, continue.
Frankly, Mr. Meehan’s image of the smartphone market seems less influenced by any actual consumer impression and more fueled by reruns of The Jersey Shore. either way, it’s good to know that the creator of such landmark, classy devices as the Facebook phone is well-versed in picking up hot chicks in the nightclub scene. That’s where CEOs of tech industries hang out, right? Well, at least, that’s the impression I got after watching The Social Network. And hey, when has Justin Timberlake ever portrayed a character that wasn’t entirely realistic?
When Google isn’t overthrowing middle eastern governments, sometimes they hang out in Spain. And sometimes they get together which a bunch of other tech companies in Spain to show off stuff. And sometimes, they bring their giant tube slide with them.
For those who are unaware, Google is a software company. They’re not the owner of Chuck E. Cheese, as many at the Mobile World Conference have been led to believe. It was the open bar that gave it away.
When Google wasn’t displaying the myriad of Android devices on Dr. Suess’s counter, they were dressing up giant Android statues. Of course, if none of those costumes fit your taste, you could create your own. A little pink Android in high heels with her hair done? Sign me up!*
I haven’t been to many (any) trade shows, but if this is the kind of stuff that giant software companies are putting out as they try to push a software platform and maintain the ability to be taken seriously….I really want to go. Bad.
Wait, seriously? Video game demos?! *swoon*
*– Holy crap, I need therapy.
I know you’re expecting it. Heck, I’m expecting it. How can you not? But, no. I refuse. I’m sorry, Xzibit. I’m not even going to Photoshop your face on top of the picture. Not even as a subtle hint to the joke.
Sure, it’s the perfect set up. This is an LG phone. It runs Android. It also runs a VMware app. That runs Android. And, to be fair, I did hear that you like Android.
But no. I’m not doing it. I can’t. I won’t. I will not, would not, shall not make a Yo Dawg joke. About Android. In yo’ Android.
If you’re like me, you decided that the Wii was the greatest of the current generation consoles. Furthermore, you discovered the Mii feature, which allows you to create your own custom avatar (no relation) by choosing from a myriad of pre-defined clothing/hair styles and accessories and concluded it was the greatest thing on earth. You then proceeded to spend literally hours upon hours designing Miis for yourself, your friends, your dog, and Shark Week. Now all of that same totally productive fun is available on your Android phone.
It includes all the requisite features. Vector hair. A few clothing styles. Green skin. It’s all there. And the best part? Easy sharing. If there’s one thing that Miis lacked, it was the ability to plaster your Mii all over the internet via every communications medium possible.
This app will allow you to share your
Mii Android via no fewer than a dozen options, including but not limited to Facebook, Twitter, Gmail, MMS, Bluetooth, WiFis, WiMores, WiMax, WiTry, and WiWii.
This ensures that the internet will not forget about your cutesy little Android design, even though you will have roughly five minutes after you’re done with it.
Sprint announced last month they’d be holding an event for this month. An event featuring David Blaine and “another industry first”. This event was to be held right in between the Consumer Electronics Show in January and the Mobile World Conference in February. Surely such an event, and even such a special guest, must necessarily imply that neither of the two audiences were worthy of this device. No, good sirs! This device requires its own stage!
Well, to be fair, that is true. I mean, look at the size of that thing*.
Yet the big reveal actually turns out to be a
URAT dual-screen phone. Which apparently needs to exist. I mean, why not? Can you think of a reason why a phone wouldn’t need two separate screens? Shut up. You can’t tell Kyocera what to do.
And if you just asked yourself “Wait, I know Motorola, HTC, Samsung, LG, and even Dell, but….who’s Kyocera?” Well….do you remember that printer you threw out last month? The one whose ink cartridges broke, got too many paper jams, and spewed blood while screeching satanic chants? The one that actually made you miss HP? Yeah, Kyocera made that.
But hey, at least this phone is running Android 2.3, the most recent version of the Android OS. Which is better than some other phones will ever see.
*– That’s what she said.
Sony’s gaming ads aren’t exactly known for their…umm…that is they lack a certain…err….ok, they’re really friggin’ weird. It’s no surprise that Sony’s venture into the phone/gaming device category that apparently exists would be accompanied by an ad that makes your skin crawl. But in a good way. I think.
In case you’ve been living under a rock, or have disregarded any news about any phones from Sony(and you would be more than justified for lowering your expectations), the Xperia Play is an Android phone made by Sony Ericsson that has a slide out gamepad. Not keyboard, gamepad. Directional arrows, all the buttons you know and love from the Playstation like circles and triangles. And squares. Oh how, I love squares. Sounds like a pretty good idea if you’re a heavy gamer and want an Android phone.
You know what’s not a good idea, though? Getting extensive surgery done in a dirty back alley by a guy who looks like he hasn’t showered in a month to attach thumbs to your green, plastic, digit-less limbs.
What’s that? You’re wondering how in the hell I made the connection between gaming phones and a scene straight out of Repo: The Genetic Opera? I have no idea. But clearly I’m not the first person to so, as this ad from Sony Ericsson demonstrates:
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wash my brain of this ad before I go pre-order an Xperia Play.