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Vodafone Fakes A Stolen Xperia Play Shipment….What The Hell, Vodafone?!

Earlier today, reports came flying in that Vodafone New Zealand was the poor, poor victim of a Hollywood movie plot. Their entire shipment of Xperia Play devices were stolen. They even have footage of the theft! That is to say, “footage where runs around a store (?) and….that’s pretty much it”. To be fair to Vodafone, it does look like the guy was wearing a black hoodie and there were green lines on the footage, so the only reasonable assumption is that all the Xperia Plays in New Zealand were stolen.

Except, it turns out it was just a joke! Haha! Fooled you good, huh? See at first you were thinking, “Wow, there’s not really much of interest in tech news today, just a bunch of boring crap,” but then you read an article about how some phones in some country you’re not in got stolen and you were still bored, but now! Now you just think Vodafone is a douchey company, or possibly really bad at practical jokes! Hahaha! What a good one. Hilarious!

Said Sony, the manufacturer of the Xperia Play, to Vodafone on the matter:

Dude! We’ve been working our asses off to fix this PSN issue! WTF are you thinking pulling a stunt like this? Scare us half to death, freak out the shareholders! What the hell?! You get on the line with whatever kiwi news outlets down there you people deal with and straighten this crap out before the market opens tomorrow morning!

Vodafone slept on the couch.

[via Engadget]

INQ: “There’s No Such Thing As Pretty Geeks”, Among Other Insults

In case you were counting, in the U.S. market, there are currently more Android handsets in users hands than iPhones. What can that tell us about the U.S. population? According to Frank Meehan, CEO of INQ, an Android handset manufacturer, we can determine that there’s more geeks than pretty people in the U.S. Because only geeks use Android. And none of them are pretty. And also none go to clubs:

“If you go to a nightclub in any city in the world, the pretty girl has an iPhone or a BlackBerry. She doesn’t have an Android phone. She has no emotional attachment to an Android phone. It’s too complicated. It’s a geek device, it’s all wrong.”

So, remember girls. If you want to be pretty and not a geek, get the plastic black phone with a huge clunky keyboard. confusing symbols, and a low-res, grainy touchscreen, instead of the shiny black device with a smooth touchscreen keyboard on a large, crystal clear screen. Unless that shiny black device with a smooth touchscreen keyboard on a large, crystal clear screen looks positively delicious. In that case, by all means, continue.

Frankly, Mr. Meehan’s image of the smartphone market seems less influenced by any actual consumer impression and more fueled by reruns of The Jersey Shore. either way, it’s good to know that the creator of such landmark, classy devices as the Facebook phone is well-versed in picking up hot chicks in the nightclub scene. That’s where CEOs of tech industries hang out, right? Well, at least, that’s the impression I got after watching The Social Network. And hey, when has Justin Timberlake ever portrayed a character that wasn’t entirely realistic?

Oh Dear God, They Actually Made The Facebook Phone

Most major rumors tend to have a broad spectrum of plausibility. Before the Nexus One came out, for example, one rumor said it would cost as much as $1,000. Another rumor said Google was going to buy Microsoft and force Steve Ballmer to personally build every single handset by hand and then give the devices away for free. Part of that last sentence is actually true. And typically the truth of the rumors fall somewhere in the middle. The same principle is true of the mythical Facebook phone.

Some rumors said Facebook was going to be building an entire operating system all on their own. This is likely largely due to Facebook’s extensive experience in writing low-level hardware control software that one typically encounters while designing a website. Ah, who doesn’t remember writing their first WiFi controller in Web Design 101. Of course other rumors, started by highly questionable sources stated that there would be no Facebook phone at all.

As usual, the rumors of the Facebook phone fell somewhere between “We’re not building anything” and “We’re building everything.” And TechCrunch got to watch some guy fiddle with it. You know what it’s got? Widgets! You know…like on your Android app! Or integrated Facebook contacts! Like in Android!

“Well, that’s all well and good for folks who are on Android, OC, but maybe this is targeted to people who want that kind of Facebook experience, but don’t want an Android phone? Maybe this phone is for them? Did you think about that?”

A valid question! And yes I did! Answer: tough cookies! This is an Android phone! This is merely a Facebook skin, much like HTC’s Sense or Motorola’s Motoblur. Actually. No. Wait. It’s exactly like Motorola’s Motoblur.

I think my favorite part of this walkthrough is when the guy shows off Facebook chat (and I quote): “which you might not have had before.” Facebook chat, of course, being a part of the standard Facebook app on Android. Though, admittedly, I can’t speak for our overseas friends, whom this Facebook phone will be targeting first. Maybe they just don’t have Facebook chat in Europe, who knows?

 

Sony’s Xperia Play Ad Forces Me To Avoid A ‘Thumbs Up’ Pun

Sony’s gaming ads aren’t exactly known for their…umm…that is they lack a certain…err….ok, they’re really friggin’ weird. It’s no surprise that Sony’s venture into the phone/gaming device category that apparently exists would be accompanied by an ad that makes your skin crawl. But in a good way. I think.

In case you’ve been living under a rock, or have disregarded any news about any phones from Sony(and you would be more than justified for lowering your expectations), the Xperia Play is an Android phone made by Sony Ericsson that has a slide out gamepad. Not keyboard, gamepad. Directional arrows, all the buttons you know and love from the Playstation like circles and triangles. And squares. Oh how, I love squares. Sounds like a pretty good idea if you’re a heavy gamer and want an Android phone.

You know what’s not a good idea, though? Getting extensive surgery done in a dirty back alley by a guy who looks like he hasn’t showered in a month to attach thumbs to your green, plastic, digit-less limbs.

What’s that? You’re wondering how in the hell I made the connection between gaming phones and a scene straight out of Repo: The Genetic Opera? I have no idea. But clearly I’m not the first person to so, as this ad from Sony Ericsson demonstrates:

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wash my brain of this ad before I go pre-order an Xperia Play.