Blog Archives

According To Glenn Beckian Logic, Google Helped Kill Bin Laden

If you read this blog regularly, for one, why? I’ve been over at the Noisecast for weeks, there’s like nothing here. Also, you might remember back in February when Glenn Beck did that stupid thing that Glenn Beck does: talk about things. Mr. Beck made the super scary point that sometimes Google has dealings with government organizations. Like when they started dealing with the NSA after China hacked their servers. It is creepy that Google is cooperating with government organizations that want to ensure that America’s technological infrastructure is secure. Right? Right.

Well, there was something else that Google does that Glenn Beck mentioned. Google sometimes does work with the NGA. What is the NGA? The NGA, or the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency, is a government organization that deals in creating maps and whatnot for the government. Sounds scary! Is this, like, a super creepy map of Americans’ homes?! Is it something that…um…might…..watch people?! I don’t know! It sounds scary!

Well, I would like to apologize to the readers of Autistic Disdain. Back in February, I naively implied that whatever Google was doing could be something innocent:

The NGA (formerly known as the National Imagery and Mapping Agency, if that tells you anything) basically deals with high-tech maps. Google’s involvement with the NGA could be as simple as building tools and systems to manage map/surveillance data to aid the military.

Well, it turns out, I was wrong. The NGA wasn’t just responsible for “helping the military”. It turns out, they were instrumental in taking out the world’s most-wanted terrorist. I mean, sure, I suppose that infiltrating the compound that houses the man most wanted by the international community technically qualifies as “aiding the military”…..in the same way that John McClane “aided” the police in any given Die Hard movie, or the way auto-tune “aids” basically every pop singer ever. So, I guess I was right.

Now, some might say “To give Google credit is inappropriate! There were plenty of different people and organizations, all the way from the leadership in the Obama administration to Seal Team Six on the ground, to the teams of agents that watched the compound for months gathering intel! You can’t just say that one private company that did some software work for one agency gets all the credit!” A fair point, reasonable reader!

To which I will reply: Glenn Beck said so. Google is “in bed” with the U.S. government. And the U.S. government just took out Osama bin Laden.

[via The Atlantic]