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“Welcome To Foxconn. Here’s Your Benefits Package, Your Badge, And If You Could Just Sign This Anti-Suicide Pact…”

Want a job at Foxconn? Well, then you guys better promise that you’re not gonna kill yourselves, mmkay? Or, at the very least, can you please promise that if you do kill yourselves, or attempt to kill yourselves, but are caught in one of Foxconn’s fine anti-suicide nets, that you will promise not to sue Foxconn or hold it liable for your dishonorable attempt to shirk your duties.

In all seriousness, though, frankly I don’t understand why more menial work places don’t have this kind of policy. Perhaps a policy that if you slip into a state of severe depression, you can’t request psychotherapy. Or a policy that if you decide to go on a murderous rampage, you agree that it was due to your own psychopathy and not because of a fundamental and hate-filled disagreement with the policies of the institution you work for.

Also, a policy that you will never attempt to comply with the PC Load Letter error message on a printer by the use of a baseball bat.

[via BGR]

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Google Builds Their Own Disney Land

When Google isn’t overthrowing middle eastern governments, sometimes they hang out in Spain. And sometimes they get together which a bunch of other tech companies in Spain to show off stuff. And sometimes, they bring their giant tube slide with them.

For those who are unaware, Google is a software company. They’re not the owner of Chuck E. Cheese, as many at the Mobile World Conference have been led to believe. It was the open bar that gave it away.

When Google wasn’t displaying the myriad of Android devices on Dr. Suess’s counter, they were dressing up giant Android statues. Of course, if none of those costumes fit your taste, you could create your own. A little pink Android in high heels with her hair done? Sign me up!*

I haven’t been to many (any) trade shows, but if this is the kind of stuff that giant software companies are putting out as they try to push a software platform and maintain the ability to be taken seriously….I really want to go. Bad.

Wait, seriously? Video game demos?! *swoon*

*– Holy crap, I need therapy.

Oh Dear God, They Actually Made The Facebook Phone

Most major rumors tend to have a broad spectrum of plausibility. Before the Nexus One came out, for example, one rumor said it would cost as much as $1,000. Another rumor said Google was going to buy Microsoft and force Steve Ballmer to personally build every single handset by hand and then give the devices away for free. Part of that last sentence is actually true. And typically the truth of the rumors fall somewhere in the middle. The same principle is true of the mythical Facebook phone.

Some rumors said Facebook was going to be building an entire operating system all on their own. This is likely largely due to Facebook’s extensive experience in writing low-level hardware control software that one typically encounters while designing a website. Ah, who doesn’t remember writing their first WiFi controller in Web Design 101. Of course other rumors, started by highly questionable sources stated that there would be no Facebook phone at all.

As usual, the rumors of the Facebook phone fell somewhere between “We’re not building anything” and “We’re building everything.” And TechCrunch got to watch some guy fiddle with it. You know what it’s got? Widgets! You know…like on your Android app! Or integrated Facebook contacts! Like in Android!

“Well, that’s all well and good for folks who are on Android, OC, but maybe this is targeted to people who want that kind of Facebook experience, but don’t want an Android phone? Maybe this phone is for them? Did you think about that?”

A valid question! And yes I did! Answer: tough cookies! This is an Android phone! This is merely a Facebook skin, much like HTC’s Sense or Motorola’s Motoblur. Actually. No. Wait. It’s exactly like Motorola’s Motoblur.

I think my favorite part of this walkthrough is when the guy shows off Facebook chat (and I quote): “which you might not have had before.” Facebook chat, of course, being a part of the standard Facebook app on Android. Though, admittedly, I can’t speak for our overseas friends, whom this Facebook phone will be targeting first. Maybe they just don’t have Facebook chat in Europe, who knows?