Category Archives: Crazy
Wired Magazine Would Like To Remind You That Breasts Exist
In case you were wondering, these are breasts.
They are on the cover of Wired magazine.
There is an article inside the magazine about breast enhancements.
The breasts on the cover may or may not have been enhanced. Difficult to tell.
Oh, yeah, and apparently this image has a lot of people very angry. Because it uses breasts to get attention. One assumes that this only angers the women who have never used a push-up bra, shown cleavage in public, nor worn any skin-tight clothing.
After all. Breasts are not meant to be looked at.
Google Gets Serious About Facebook, Resists Star Wars Meme
So, you can import your Google contacts into Facebook if you’d like. However, if a few years down the road, you decide that you don’t want to use Facebook anymore (surely Diaspora will have hit critical mass by this point. Surely), you will be unable to export those contacts for use in some other service.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Oh no, they di’n’t! Boyeeee, Facebook best back up before they start sumthin! Dat’s sum seriously effed up stuff right dere!”
Well, it turns out, Google thinks just the same way you do, because they’ve been engaging in a digital smackdown that rivals that of the infamous clash of the titans between Palm and Apple over iTunes sync. First Google is all “Facebook, you can’t import contacts from us unless you open up.” So Facebook sneaks in the back door and imports Google’s contacts anyways.
Google, being the victim of unwanted intrusion does the only thing they can do: make a formal notification of Facebook as a Registered Data Offender. Now, if you try to import data to Facebook from Google, you’ll see the above warning. Also, Facebook has to notify their neighbors of their status as an RDO when they move into a new server. Oh yeah, and once you’re on that list, you’re on it forever. Awkwaaaaaard.
Can’t Make This Up: Man Gets $20m Computer Repair Job, Reamed
Roger Davidson is a composer and a pianist. Roger Davidson does not fix his own computers. Roger Davidson pays people to fix his computers. In fact, he might even pay as high as $20,000,000. Provided, of course, that the computer repairman discover that his computer is being affected by an international virus in Honduras, run by Polish members of Opus Dei that have now targeted him for assassination. It’s a strict, if quirky, policy he’s lived by. And good thing, too! Because it totally happened!
The computer security firm is all “No, seriously dude. Polish priests are trying to kill you!” So Davidson is all “Dude! Help me!” So the security firm is all “Welllllll, ok. We’ll do it for $160,000 a day.” And Roger Davidson, like any normal, perfectly intelligent, Grammy-winning pianist, accepted their help.
Frankly, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. I mean, the security firm did provide the services they promised. As proof, Mr. Davidson was not in any way harmed by members of Opus Dei, was he? Seller provided the promised services. No harm, no foul, I say.
Samsung Releases Continuum, Misses Every Single Point
Samsung held a press conference today. The totally uber-secret subject? The new Verizon Continuum! Why it’s going to be fantastic! Wonderful! Or something!
In all frankness, I don’t think I’ve seen a laundry list of Stuff Wrong With A Phone this long since the Backflip. Alphabetically:
Bing: I’m curious if Samsung has seen the numbers from their Galaxy S phones in a specific light, but from where I’m sitting, the Fascinate, the one Galaxy S phone that doesn’t come with Google preloaded as the default search engine, was widely regarded as the suckiest Galaxy S phone. Samsung responded to public outcry with the response that you would be able to reset Google as the default search engine with the advent of Froyo. Like a child without his security blanket for the first time, Samsung just couldn’t leave that sans-Google-handset hole empty for long.
Eclair: Word on the street is that Samsung is working on the nigh-legendary Nexus Two which is said to be the flagship device for Gingerbread as the N1 was for Eclair (and to a lesser extent, Froyo). Needless to say, when Samsung set aside a date solely for a new Android device, and so shortly after the Gingerbread man showed up at Google HQ (usually an unmistakable sign of a new Android version), it was widely expected that this phone would bring some Gingerbread-y goodness. Or at the very least, whatever it was would ship with Froyo. Something the Galaxy S line has been lacking. No. You will have an Eclair and you will like it!
Second Screen: One has to wonder why, if it’s not the mythical Nexus Two, Samsung decided to host a special event just for this phone. Well, it turns out, this is a unique phone. It has a special addition that no other phone before it has had. A second little screen! You know, for notifications and stuff. And as we all know, if there’s one thing that Android sucks at, if there’s one thing that Android could use a second screen to help fix, it’s their notification management syst-oh. No. Wait. That’s entirely false. This little screen is all but pointless. Well, unless you like to idly check stock prices while you’re watching a full-screen movie on your device. And if that’s the kind of usage you want from your device, boy have you come to the right place, because the 3.4″ screen (smaller than the Evo, smaller than all other Galaxy S phones, smaller than the bloody iPhone for chrissakes) is the perfect size for squinting at movies while squinting harder at text!
Vanity: The biggest problem with the Continuum? It gets its own event. Why. No, there’s not a question mark at the end of that sentence. That implies there’s an answer. There is no good answer for why this average-specced, Bing-ed up, miniscule, outdated, mutant clusterf!#k of a device got it’s own special media event for its announcement.
Interestingly enough, the Continuum was accidentally revealed via the company’s official Twitter channel just prior to the event’s beginning. Much more fitting. Too bad they’d already paid the deposit on the caterer.
This Dress Is Like The Matrix, Less Evil, More Messy 2-Year-Old
I don’t think this needs any other commentary.
Except maybe: Whaaaaaaaa-?
Autistic Disdain 